I'm the guy who moves stuff around in your favorite application, for what seems like no apparent reason.

My drink of choice is caffeine.

My shoe of choice is flip-flop.

My store of choice is Starbucks, which I walk drive to wearing my flip-flops, to get caffeine

My wife, since I am fortunate to have one, calls me her "big, strong, nerd" - never mind the catastrophic oxymoron that the phrase produces; I would prefer a better wife handle though, something like zerocool or n00bpwner

Yes, I married up; no, I did not use my geek super powers to do so…

I take things apart on purpose knowing that there is no way I will be able to put them back together.

I cringe when people use CPU or HARDDRIVE as synonyms for COMPUTER

I have more than 2 browsers installed on my CPU.

I used to think business people "ph33r’d" my elite hacking skills, but I found out they just think I am weird and that's really why they avoid me.

When given the option I would take a bean bag over a chair any day

The first rule about being a Developer is that you don’t talk about being a developer

When asked to clean the house I have to create a list and organize it so that the tasks get accomplished in the most efficient way - the list takes about 1-2hrs to prepare assuming no bugs and no interruptions (note to self: write program to generate list).

If it is worth doing it is worth overdoing.

My children still want to be like me when they grow up.

I am a keyboard cowboy - but I have no idea how to actually type.

I speak in crypto-nerd tongue to get out of meetings (works much like a Jedi mind trick only not as cool).

Crypto-nerd tongue gets turned off if I know there is a chance in the meeting that technical terms will be butchered (like using CPU for COMPUTER – high developer entertainment value) or there will be coffee.

I run out of my allotted number of words per day faster because I use Acronyms.

When faced with a challenge, I reassign the work item.

The second rule about being a Developer is that you don’t talk about being a developer.

Script is not something you read, and when you talk about Java, as a safety measure, you should specify upfront if you're talking about the tasty beverage or code.

People think I show up to work early, not true; I just leave late.

Despite what most might think I do not just copy and paste code... I change the comments too.

And, yes business users, "All Your Base Are Belong To Us"

I am dev…